Strange New World

When my first kid’s mother got pregnant, this is the direction the conversation went.

  1. We’re not keeping it. There’s no way. Neither of us are prepared and we both have so much we still want to do, a kid just won’t work out. And it will be terrible for the kid.
  2. We can’t give it to my mom, my mom is terrible.
  3. We can’t give it to her mom, her family is a train wreck and every day there’s some new drama craziness going on for no reason. They’re god awful with money. Three generations in one house is the worst idea ever, and adding a 4th to it along with everybody coming and going all the time? That’s a huge no go.
  4. She didn’t want to get an abortion and it’s her body, so that was ruled out AFTER we definitely ruled out giving it to either of our families.
  5. We settled on adoption.

Little did she know, I had been calling around talking to adoption agencies and figuring out what the process should be. But that didn’t matter. She spent a weekend over at her family’s main house (I say main because that’s where her mom, sister and several other people lived, with another branch of family just down the street.) From what she told me, they essentially took turns guilt tripping her into giving the kid to them. “You can’t give away blood!”

I asked if I had any say in it, if there was anything I could say short of failing at trying to take legal action? No, the decision was made. I had no say in it.

I wanted to get the kid some place that was healthy. Some place where she could have a good shot at a stable environment with a family that had their shit together. Not the same shit the mother and I had dealt with growing up. That’s the goal, isn’t it? Always wanting the best for your kid, better than you had?  We couldn’t give it.  Our families sure as fuck couldn’t give it.

So the day came, I got to cut the cord, and watched the kid go home with her parents. Why didn’t I stop it? It never changed, we didn’t want to have a kid. I sure as hell wasn’t mature enough to deal with one effectively. The mother was, but I sure wasn’t. Was it all my fault and she wanted it but wanted me and tried keeping both by giving it to her family? I don’t know. All I know is what I was told.

Either way, the following months and years were filled with weekly to daily stories of what was going on with her family. All the shit we guessed would happen while the kid was there, sure enough. they happened. All the shit that had gone on, kept going on. All the shit we saw coming, for the most part, came. And the whole time, every single time, every word, all I could think about was I had a part in a baby / toddler growing up in that fucking environment.

So I distanced more and more. The relationship started with me being distant. So I don’t know how long it took her to notice. But by the end I was on another planet. And end it did. It ended several months before the lease was up. And apparently I left her a horrible letter about I was only with her so I had a place to stay which I have absolutely no memory of. I know I was having a horrible time dealing with how to handle the kid situation. I know I resented her more and more for it every single time she told me horrible situations going on where the kid was being raised.

I wasn’t involved at all from the moment the kid was born because I refused to go in half ass. I wasn’t about to be a weekend dad. I wasn’t going to be a partial custody person. I know how shitty it is jumping back and forth between where you live and who’s in charge and what rules to follow and everything in between. What I chose to do was just stay away 100%. But, again, the relationship ended and we moved in opposite directions. Her in with her family and the kid (which may have been a much better thing for stability) – and me in with a work friend for a bit. And when I moved out, it seems like five years passed in but a moment.

I had ended up getting a car shortly after that I knew would be paid off and getting up in the 60-80k miles range about the time the kid would be turning 14. I was still keeping in touch with the mother. I told her I planned to give the car to her when it was time to get a new car. I figured I would get a new car once this one started needing a bunch of maintenance. I’ve done the whole driving while watching ahead to plan where all i can pull off if my car stops working. It’s not fun. As long as I can afford to, I’m not doing that again.

When the kid turned 13, I decided after various discussions with the mother, that I would reach out and see if she wanted to connect on social media and the like. Get to know each other. Something my dad never did for me. I’ve never met my dad, I don’t remember his name anymore besides Ed. I know he went by Ed but I believe his name was Richard? Who knows. Anyway, I know how teenage years go and how my brain is, how my mom’s brain is, how my sister’s brain is. So it is safe to say her brain is like that too.  And I learned later, it is.

I was going to decide for myself if I was going to follow through with giving her the car. I had a job where I could easily afford to buy a new car and make the payments. I was married to somebody else in a stable relationship. The only thing I wasn’t sure about is if the kid was remotely responsible enough to actually deserve being given a car. I wanted to establish that and make the decision for myself before I pulled the trigger.

Five or six months in, I realized I think this 13 year old is as mature as I was at 20-25. I’ve always been behind the curve on ACTING mature and being responsible. It took me moving out to start learning about actual responsibility. She seemed to be ahead of me on multiple fronts. Certainly for that age, far far ahead of me.

So I pulled the trigger. I started getting some of the mid-life work done on the car so they didn’t have to. Then the wife informed me she wanted to have a kid. Apparently at some point in the years prior, I had commented if I didn’t have a kid before I was 35, I was never going to. And I was closing in on it rapidly.  I still never wanted a kid. I think this earth is a fucked up place and humans are nothing but cancer, overall. And I don’t want to put any more people on this earth to have to deal with it.

I was struggling with free time as it was at that point. And a kid would slash that free time drastically down. With that I was struggling with depression, and that dramatically increased with this new stress. But I had already made the decision to get the car to my existing kid. Plus, if I was a stay at home dad, I wouldn’t really need a car as much because I wouldn’t have a job to shuttle back and forth to. She made about ten dollars more an hour than I did, so it was natural that I would be the stay at home dad since day care is so expensive that I would only make a bit more than day care would cost.

But, I did it anyway. New kid already arrived, took my car to my existing kid, everything seemed well. There’s a lot more to it, but this is why I’m writing this fresh here instead of copying and pasting the existing to cut out 3/4 of the volume (actually a lot more than that.)

I’m not very capable of censoring myself. So shit I post on social media is quite unfiltered. I don’t hold much back. And I had two facebook accounts for years. One was my personal one where I was myself. The other was my public one which work places knew about. I gave her the choice and informed her of what either were. She wanted to stay on the one where I was myself. I think that was a big mistake, in the end.

Over the previous few months before writing this post, she had reacted to some of the things i shared with comments like “STOP” and the like. I can’t even remember what the posts were about. Some of them weren’t that bad at all (by my twisted standards.)

Then one day, I was having a disagreement comparing notes on something (I honestly can’t remember the topic now) in comments with one of her friendsand after a couple dozen comments (I don’t remember how many times we had gone back and forth talking about the subject) – the daughter jumps on and comments something like “you’re a 35 year old man arguing with a 15 year old on the internet. stop.”

That pissed me off on multiple levels. So, I can only comment on something if it’s positive and not interact with anybody who disagrees? So many questions. So I talked to her in private messages (the daughter.) Among the points was my being annoyed by her telling me to stop various things for no reason at all. It didn’t go well.  I wasn’t pissed off, much less annoyed, much less arguing with anybody until she said that. Then i was pissed.  And it boiled down almost immediately to her only responding with “okay.”  and then when “I’m not going to argue with you about this” came out of her, I lost my shit. So you can just say shit and not talk about it? Really?

I knew I had to step away. I felt like I was nothing but a dark force in her life from the DNA level all the way to being a bad example on social media. So I blocked her until I could calm down and figure out how to be more patient with her.

Few days passed and I had been talking to her mom off and on. I was debating on how long I should chill before unblocking her and talking to her again, when my sister messaged me asking why she was unfriended by the daughter. I looked and my new kid’s account had been unfriended also. I didn’t know how to react to that. The only thing I could think was try to do damage control.

I sent her a friend request and she messaged me something about it not being healthy to come in and out of her life like this.  What? It’s been a few days. She had my phone number. I just blocked her on social media for a bit after a stupid fight. We talked a bit and she made it clear that no, she wasn’t interested. I could find out what’s going on with her through her mom.

I had been asking her mom how she was doing but the answers were always pretty much one sentence.  I liked it a hell of a lot more before when I could see what was going on in her life by all the stuff she was posting each day. It wasn’t as good as being there, but it was at least an open window in.  I was checking her profiles to see what was going on at least 2-3 times a day.

She had told me at one point during the argument I said “fuck you.”  which was not in my chat logs and I don’t believe I would have said that in those words.  Certainly I essentially said fuck you in other words because jumping into a conversation out of nowhere with “you’re 35 arguing with a 15 year old on the internet.” definitely deserves a fuck you.  Especially when there was no argument (not from my end, anyway.) She wanted me to apologize for blocking her I think? but I wouldn’t, because it was for the best so I could shut up and calm down. And I wanted her to apologize for telling me to stop posting whatever, which she claimed was her joking around (which makes no sense at all.)

So that’s it. Apparently when I disowned my own mother some years back I should have cut off contact with my half sister?? According to the daughter’s actions. It makes no sense to me. Some friends tell me to just chill and wait a few months or years and she’ll come around. Will she? I don’t know. This planet and all the huimans on it are fucked up and I have no hope at all for any of it to get better. Sure, some people live great lives and think the world is an awesome place but I envy their ability to overlook pretty much everything going on around them and around the world.

Can’t See Out Anymore

I don’t even know how to write this. I’ll paste this, and continue maybe.

Erik Smith
11 hrs · Instagram ·
Sometimes you have to accept a situation is fucked far beyond repair and you absolutely have to just give up. Hasta luego, I guess. 🙁
first time taking that picture out of my wallet since i got it 10 years ago or so.

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2 Christa Smith and Catherine Schneider
Will Major
Will Major Oh?
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Erik Smith
Erik Smith Yep. My fault I’m sure the story will go. So whatever.
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Will Major
Will Major Still clueless as to what that story is, but Okie doke.
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Erik Smith
Erik Smith I’ve been told “STOP” relating to fuck around shit on “my day” several times. Was pissing me off. Then the other day I was talking to one of her friends comparing notes on whatever topic, I can’t even remember. Then ash comes in and says stop again, adding “you’re 35 arguing with a 15 year old.” .. pissed me off. Conversation didn’t go well so I blocked her so I could cool down.

Heard she unfriended my sister from a distraught sister, and figured I better add her back since I calmed down. Well, then she dropped the old “you can’t keep coming in and out of my life like this.” Card because apparently even though she still had my phone number and herself took me of her Instagram, and it was the only time in three years we had any trouble at all (that I’m aware of) … Guess that warrants such a deep cutting comment. I disagree highly that it’s accurate. But she was steadfast that nope, fuck off.

So fuck it. I tried and failed miserably.

I don’t have much of a fuse to begin with and from observing her over the last couple years I have no hope at all so fuck it. At least she got a car out of the deal.

.. oh yeah, the moment i realized it was beyond hope was when jami was talking to me for just a few messages thismorning and said “yeah. she’s still mad, give her time.”

SHE’S still mad??: yeah. fuck it. like it was my fucking fault. same shit in that family every single time. it’s not ever any of their fault. ever. regardless of what that side does, it’s always the other people’s faults. always.
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that’s all i’ve been thinking most of the day.  SHE’S still mad?  SHE is still mad?  She started the shit. She made the comment that set it off. How the fuck is SHE the one that is still mad? I don’t even know what else to say.  Whole thing is fucked up. I wish I could just go back 3 years ago and just keep to my fucking self and not say shit.

Now I knew what it was like at least kind of knowing what was going on with her and it felt better than i could put into words than the 13 years before that.  well, 10 years before that. 2 or 3 of those first years i heard all the horrors we fucking knew was going to happen if she went to her family, happening, one stupid fucking drama thing after another, after another, after another, after another.  shit we didn’t want to put a kid in, but clearly had.

Fuck it.  Going back to drinking.  I can feel my face right now and that’s not good.


When I was 10? 11? I was put on medication for Epilepsy. With that, they also put me on medication to attempt better control of my behavioral disorders my family and schools had been dealing with over the years.

At some point, they had tried so many combinations that weren’t working, they pulled me back into the hospital for a month to try some others. One, they sent me home because they needed a bed for a week. I went right back the next day because I was sleep walking and my mom found me in the garage. I was at or younger than 12.

After that I ended up in lockup for a few years because of a stupid decision that had a consequence my friend and I somehow didn’t foresee. While in lockup I was recreationally trashing a kitchen when I saw a door opening. I went to slam it and had not seen the arm put between the door and the frame to keep it from shutting.

Putting an arm in the door, with me being the one going off, was a safe gamble. All the staff that knew me, knew I wouldn’t hurt anybody. But, I didn’t see it. Since their wrist was terribly bruised, they had to press 3rd degree assault charges on me so their insurance would cover it.

Before I turned 17 I had worked my way out and was back home. When I turned 18 I was told I could make my own decisions and get off medication. I wanted to, to see how I handled it. I figured I had made so many advances from the lowest while I was in prison, to the highest I felt when I was quickly expanding friends in highschool.

In hindsight, that was a horrible mistake. It went well during my highs but my lows were lower than I remembered and sometimes lasted months. I dropped even further into depression after a horrible breakup (which was entirely my fault, I fully admit) just before my 19th birthday (end of 1999). While I was still trying to get through that part of my mind fighting me, at the end of 2001 it wasn’t much better. I ended up developing agoraphobia which persisted until roughly 2004.

Mid 2004 through mid 2014 was better as I was pouring myself into everything I’ve done art-related. The more projects I threw myself into and the more games I lost myself in, the better I was doing.

As 2014 moved I started panicking because I estimated there was about 50 hours of stuff I would ideally like to do each day. Even if I never slept again, clearly that left me 26 hours short. Yes, I mapped out how much time each thing would take, and how much free time I had and tried to pick things I most wanted to do, so I felt better about my to do list vs. my free time.

Then, about a month after I was getting in the swing of ignoring those which didn’t make the cut – the wife informed me she seriously wanted to have a kid.

As anyone should know, a kid = death of free time. So this essentially kicked the legs out from under everything I had built to keep me out of the morass I had been in from 1988-2004. And it has only gotten worse since.

So now I’m looking back to medication – which hopefully will start a week from tomorrow. I’ve been trying to push myself to even schedule an appointment with a psychologist.

In september of 2014 I went to my GP and he put me on a pill I can not remember the name of, but it was great. The insurance company wouldn’t fund it without me playing phone tag every month so they switched me to Effexor. Effexor was a nightmare. So in May 2015 I finally couldn’t take it anymore and researched how to pull myself off the medicine. I slowly dropped dosage by counting out the pebbles individually so I was taking 3 less per pill. Sure, it took about a month and a half to fully ween off it, but it finally worked.

I went back to trying on my own but closing in on the two year anniversary of pulling myself back off, as I said, I feel it is absolutely essential to try again.

I don’t know how many pills I’ve tried over the years but I’m hoping I can gravitate towards one that will work out.

Just wanted to slap this up for future reference. I might write up a more detailed accounting of my time jumping around group homes, psych wards and the 7 months I spent in Eldora (kiddie prison) .. It was an interesting time for me because it was essentially pushing boundaries and observing processes and humans around me.


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Depression is a topic I usually try to avoid.  I don’t know how people with no arms and no legs handle it, but I would imagine they tend to prefer never bringing it up as it’s something they have to deal with day in and day out anyway, so why compound it with conversation about it?

When I was still single digits in age I was diagnosed with Epilepsy.  I was placed on Depakote (spelling?) to try to offset it. Unfortunately, though, I started showing more and more of the side effects listed.  I believed this was the cause of this for most of my life.

One day in the 2000s, I forget when exactly, I was called to mom’s house by my sister. I drove over and asked what was going on and she said mom had gone outside in near freezing temperatures and hadn’t come back in.  Apparently she had seen me pull in because she was entering the back door as my sister was describing what was going on.

I asked mom why she was outside and she said “because I just wanted to feel something.” Everything inside me panicked because I had been battling depression for so long and holding it in for so many years I never expected to hear something I’ve thought countless times come out of my mom’s mouth.  Through the course of that evening, listening to her vent, I started realizing everything coming out of her was verbatim with what I had been fighting inside myself over the decade prior.

I talked to my sister some years later about that and she opened up, too.  Not sure if she was drunk, or what. She said a lot and that wasn’t very typical of her. And hers matched as well.  At one point I had analyzed a lot of information I had collected of my sister’s and my at the time 12 year old’s, and recognized these exact same patterns and thoughts existed in both.

Today I saw a post online – reflected here – that brought a lot of this back up above the surface. it’s always there, and i’m usually ignoring it and or dealing with it on one level or another. but to see something so blatantly ignorant on the topic hit me.  i try not to make it a habit to let facebook crap trigger stuff, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

I’m going to try to do all I can to equip my newborn with everything she needs, including support, to deal with what seems to be clearly genetic. That’s all I’m comfortable with saying at this moment.  Sorry if your time feels wasted.  Was not the intent.

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Southwest: Sinker of Dreams

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This may not end up true as the top level of customer service doesn’t open again until Monday morning. However, that’s already after the flight was supposed to leave, and after a planned event my wife wanted to attend Monday Morning.

My wife and I are from Omaha, NE. Now we live in Phoenix, AZ. The wife has been going back to Omaha every Christmas since we moved down here. She has been planning and looking forward to it, this time with our year and a half old daughter, since the time was approved early summer 2016.

Tonight, I was out driving for Uber to try and make money to kill off debt faster than we have been. I get a text saying something is wrong with her check-in for the flight tomorrow. Says the name is wrong.

I think back, remembering how many times I double-checked to make sure it was her name when filling out the Rapid Rewards, since it kept wanting to put my name in. I remember being absolutely certain it had her name every time I submitted anything. And it did.

I call Southwest and ask them what the deal is, after having confirmed it does have my name instead of hers. They say they can’t do anything about it after the 30 day mark passes once the flight is scheduled. The 30 day mark passed in early November.

I tell her I was absolutely certain her name was in the field before I continued on at all. They said “this happens to so, so many people. It will populate the passenger name with the rapid rewards holder’s name during confirmation regardless of what was put in any fields before.” I said, ok? So, since it’s a known problem, just edit the 4 characters to what it should be, right?

Wrong. The only thing she said was possible was to cancel it and hope that spot opens up for the same price. Well, we did cancel it. And, naturally, no such thing happened. I did this phone call from my car, after a fare, 35 minutes across town from home.

She apologized and said she was sorry. I said, not as sorry as I’m about to be when I call the wife and tell her the news.

The wife wanted me to come home so we could try to figure out what we were going to do next. This sucks, because clearly I was out trying to make money to make advancement on some debt I would love to just get rid of entirely. But I do it, because I know my presence will make it easier for her to deal with disappointment on this scale.

I had a back-up plan. A card with a huge amount available I had shut off previously. I was told I could turn it back on whenever. I hate the idea of it because it’s almost paid off. Hate putting money on credit cards. So I called, and they said no. Nuclear option in case we desperately needed funds – rejected. I didn’t want to use it unless the care broke down during a low period in the savings account, but I guess that doesn’t matter now.

So, the wife is stuck home and depressed. The baby doesn’t get to get out of the house for a couple weeks. And I feel like it’s my fault for not logging into her email just to verify the confirmation email looked legit.

All this, after being on hold for 30-40 minutes, hearing the message “Southwest cares about you and your wallet. We will do everything we can to keep you happy, and save you money.”

Yeah. Apparently not (so far, barring whatever happens Monday.) Thanks again, Southwest.

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UPDATE: 2016.12.19

    • Conversation started today
    • Erik James Rymer
  • Erik James Rymer

    Erik James Rymer

    -edit-. RR changed the name to mine when it should have been Beth Smith and she looked at confirmation email but missed it. We showed family and most missed the difference too somehow.

     I’m on hold right now with option 5. 855.234.4654. Feel free to interrupt if you beat them to it. -edit-. Will update when they answer.

    Talked to someone, they canceled to try to get it again with right name, failed. Next guy I talked to said they absolutely could have just edited name. Then told me to call Monday. We have a flight paid for we can’t refund for the 28th for her. She’s pretty distraught.

    These conversations were Saturday night. I’m on hold right now.

  • Erik James Rymer

    Erik James Rymer

    On the phone, thank you

  • Erik James Rymer

    Erik James Rymer

    Worthless. “nothing we can do.” yeah right. Never using Southwest again.

  • Southwest Airlines

    Southwest Airlines

    Thanks for reaching out, Erik. We’re sorry to hear that your itinerary was booked incorrectly when you made the reservation on Southwest Airlines tickets are nontransferable, so only you will be able to travel on the ticket. In order to prevent errors, we recap Passenger information during the booking process, send a detailed confirmation email, and allow a full refund within 24 hours of booking. We regret you didn’t catch it sooner and that we were unable to respond favorably to your request to change the name on the ticket. -Nicole

    Southwest Airlines – Airline Tickets, Flights, and Airfares
    Official Southwest Airlines website, the only place to find Southwest Airlines fares online. Book lowest airfare deals, view flight schedules, get flight status, and book rental cars and hotels.
  • Erik James Rymer
    Erik James Rymer

    actually i submitted it correctly. but since the RR number was put in the field it was changed by the system.

    it was sent to my wife’s email and she missed it, because the name is so small in the email, and listed SMITH, ERIK. pretty easy to miss.

    pretty terrible that this is a common problem but “nothing we can do.”

    now we’re out the money for the return flight through the other company. so we lose big time because of a known bug in southwest’s RR submission system.


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1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th people i talked to verbally on the phone, all acknowledged when you type the Rapid Rewards number in the field during confirmation, the system will change the name to the Rapid Rewards holder’s name. And that will show up on the final boarding pass – unless, apparently, caught within those first 24 hours.

They are well aware their system does this. And they refused to fix the situation. Sure, we can spend $550 to fly on what would have been a $145 ticket. Sure, we could buy the difference in rewards points, and I am not making this up at all, for over $800. That way we could use the points we have (including what was refunded) and….. yeah.  No.

I feel sick to my stomach and as depressed as ever.  I should have checked that email, considering how many times I checked the name and information I was filling out.  I stupidly thought, there’s absolutely no way it’s wrong. I was absolutely, without any doubt, certain, the information I put in was correct. And I know it was.  But I didn’t know about the bug.  And I didn’t check the email.

Then, to make things worse, the company I booked the return flight for her through doesn’t do refunds.  Which is pretty much everybody’s policy, fine. whatever.  But, on top of that, they wanted to give a $164 credit for use later.  And, to use that credit, they wanted to charge a $200 fee to access it at the time of trying to use it.

I actually laughed. I said, wait. So I paid $242 so far. And you are telling me $164 of that will carry over, if I choose to do so, so I can use later. And at that time, there will be a $200 fee to use it?  So I’ll be paying $200 to spend $164, thus spending $36 more than it costs? Why wouldn’t I just spend $200 somewhere and tell you guys to go fly a kite where the sun doesn’t shine?

I asked him several times if he’s aware of anyone ever doing that once.  The first several times he said some scripted nonsense that was unrelated. The last time, he started in and I interrupted him and said no, I’ve heard this too many times and I asked you a question.  He sounded uncomfortable and meekly said “No, no I’ve never actually heard of anyone doing that.”

No kidding?

My stupid taxes in 2016 are too god damn high.

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—== Edit: 2017, Mar 17th ==—

This was resolved early this month.  I had spoken with the same person the last few times on the phone. I was promised one of two things would happen. Back at the end of December, she said repeatedly this would be finalized by the end of January, early February at the absolute latest. Either the money would be sent in a check, or less likely it would be direct deposited back to the source.  In my case, debit card.

I waited all through January and got nothing but a bill for $1600 or so. I called and they said, no, the phones were checked in, and the credit would put me at being owed back over a hundred.  So, I waited longer.

Then I got a bill for -105. It’s not quite what I think they still owed me, but it’s still something. So I waited. And I waited.

Then about March 10th a cash card came in the mail. Not a check. Not a deposit. A cash card. I tried a few ways to get the balance off and it wasn’t working. I tried making an online account to do a direct deposit to the bank, wasn’t working.

Called the citibank line, they said something was wrong. They said they had to disable the card for at least 24 hours while they waited for their techs to look at it. He wasn’t sure what the problem was. He offered sending me a card that would take 7-10 business days to get to me.

I just wanted to be done with this nightmare so I tried to figure out alternatives. He said he could mail me a form I could fill out and mail back. I said no, I am trying to find faster ways. He said he could email the form to me and fax it. I informed him I don’t have a fax machine and don’t want to mess around with trying to find a service to fax it online.

He said just fill it out and email it back. So I did. It was immediately rejected for various reasons.

Finally about 40 hours later I tried logging in again and it let me create an account and transfer the money to my bank account.

It’s finally over.  Never going near T-Mobile again.


—== Edit: 2016, Dec 13th ==—

I saw that the tablets that had been returned. I did call as soon as I saw they shipped and had a tracking number. Called UPS. They originally said they didn’t have the shipment in their possession. So I called a few more times until they saw them on their radar, and put in for a rejection because I know the system, and know you can. So it got turned around and never even got to the UPS in my area.

I also packed up the phones and sent them in the box they came in. I watched both tracking numbers until they were both received, which was yesterday. I gave it a full day to be scanned in, and called today.

I expected them to keep everything I paid and still bill me. Here’s the breakdown (for sure) what I paid. Verified from my records.

Nov 03 . 170.95 . Initial payment for the lines and the phones
Nov 20 . 167.97 . The payment for the first full month of service.
Dec 06 . 186.23 . The down payment for the tablets.

I expected none of that back. The bill they wanted me to pay on Dec 22nd was $270something. I forget what, it didn’t matter to me because I would never have paid that.

So I called today and asked questions of the original person I talked to. They were overall useless, which I expected. They put me on hold to get whatever, resolution center? whatever term they used, on the phone. I can’t remember because I hear the term retention, resolution, advanced care, all sorts of stuff. The lady I was transferred to even used a different term than any of these, but whatever.

Looks like I’m typing so all the time, again. I’m going to skip the conversation entirely because it was actually quite pleasant. I forget her name, but she was nice, and her paw sounds nice, and it’s a neat idea to use a tractor trailerr (just the trailer) for storage. not a bad idea, honestly. pretty easy to keep weatherproof and they should stand the test of time quite well.  could build walls on either side to keep them ultimately steady during storms, too.

For now, she nuked the 270.something bill. That’s gone. Which, I agree with. I paid for the month I used, I was gone after that, no point in charging me anything.  Especially not mixed in with the rest of the arguments I had with that bill.

On top of that, and to my astonishment, assuming everything checks out with what I returned, I’ll be getting the 170.95 and 186.23 refunded. Shouldn’t be a problem. I even packaged the S7s the same as they were sent to me, only missing the small plastic sleeves around the earphones.  100% of the rest of the pieces and wraps and everything were replaced as they were sent to me. And naturally, the tablets never even made it to me. So they’ll return in the same box untouched as they were sent out in – short whatever difference happened through UPS’s networks, which may very well be some box damage. That’s how they roll.

Mystery name I forget will call me back in 13ish days to let me know of updates. We’ll see.


—== Original Post, 2016, Dec 6th ==—

I kept hearing that people loved TMobile’s service. The couple times I bumped into TMobile vendors they would tell me how much cheaper they were from verizon.

So, once our terms were over with Verizon, I went shopping.  First few places I called just sounded awful. So I called TMobile. The prices were decent enough, I guess, though just a touch under Verizon. For 6gb, and that’s each line not shared, it was quoted at about $15 lower than what we were paying with Verizon.

My first question, the make or break one, was could we both port our numbers over. I specified mine was a 402 number, an omaha number. She said yeah, no problem. So we moved on.

Their phone selection was terrible.  I had two or three phones I was eyeballing that I liked more for various reasons than the galaxy S7.  Notably the google pixel, and definitely the moto z force. The moto z force was to be the 3rd version of the Droid Turbo I had been carrying forever.

So, since the best they had that wasn’t crApple, was the galaxy s7, we went with those.  The two colors they had were gold and black.  So yeah, we went with black, because we’re not pharaohs.

So, then came the initial payment. It included downpayments on the phones and on the lines.  Whatever. It was about $156. Fine. I made it happen. We had just paid the verizon bill and had some extra money from my driving for lyft/uber. So whatever, lets get this over with.  I figure the savings of 20-40 bucks or whatever over 2 years will be worth it if what I heard was true about how much cheaper they are.

Regarding questions about pricing. They have an 8gb plan where both lines get 8, as opposed to Verizon who would share the amount they say across all lines. So that’s cool. Problem, it was quoted 5-10 bucks cheaper than I was down to paying to Verizon. Whatever. Not a big savings, so it’ll be a little better than just breaking even after the down payment shit. Still bitter about the two years we spent at San Palmilla where they have great service across the whole property – but the pocket we were in by the dog park. And the only option was to have no phone service at home since at the time Verizon had no wifi calling yet – or buy a repeater for $250 (if i recall, maybe 280) – and provide the electricity and broadband bandwidth for it. Plus, anyone around me would get to use it too. Was bitter about that still yes.

So, went ahead with it.

Phones come. I call to port mine over. First try, failed. Second try, failed. I did the website to try myself later, verifying all the information 900 times before submitting, failed. I called back and talked to somebody and tried to figure out why. They couldn’t figure it out so went up the chain. Somebody up the chain knew what to look at and explained the number can not port because they do not have brick and mortar stores in omaha, and have no infrastructure in omaha. So they can’t port omaha numbers.

I was furious. One of the things that’s helped make life easier over the years has been maintaining the same phone number.  It’s also a point of pride. I’m sure I’m not the only one who knows multiple people who I have to constantly update their phone number for one reason or another. I thought for a few days about saying no thanks and going right back to verizon. But I wanted to give them a chance, because after all, I did want to save money even if it was ten or twenty bucks. The total was to be $154 and some change. Fine. I asked multiple times to make sure I had it all written down wrong. Taxes included? Yes taxes included. Ok.

Then I realized, part of the conditions of TMobile’s promised paying off our old deal with Verizon was porting numbers. So I called and asked about it and they said since we paid the phones off we didn’t need to turn those in but we had to port the numbers. I asked what the process is, then, if TMobile doesn’t have the ability to port the number. I was told there was no process. It can’t work.  So I mentioned the only reason I even continued talking to TMobile to begin with was I was assured the port was possible. Tough shit rule.

So that made me mad again. I talked myself down, penny pinching and all. Need to cut the budget down anywhere I can find. So, onward we go.

Not more than a week or two later, first bill shows up. It was $167. I call, what the fuck? (though naturally diplomatically.) .. “Oh, that’s the cost after so and so fee and taxes.”

So I was pretty pissed. Now I was paying a couple dollars more than verizon, with a phone I was never excited about. Now all I had was the bitterness about the reception and them being like yo you can buy shit and power it and benefit everybody out of your pocket entirely. So fuck it, moving on. Lets go then, fuck it.

So, during that conversation she said by the way, there’s a promotion where we give two data lines free of charge. totally free of charge. you pay nothing today, you pay nothing on bills. and we’re giving away two tablets the rest of november, so if you have these lines you can get them and just apply them to the lines.

I asked several times how it works and they said the bill comes and it shows the line charge, then the credit. Ok. I had a phone before that was $20 a month and the promotion credited me $20 a month and it broke even, and I never had to pay for the phone as a perk for the 2 year contract. Lets go. Set that shit up and I’ll look into the tablets and see if I would even pay tax on that shit. She said she’d call me back the next day and see what I decided and set it up if I wanted. She was cool to talk to, so I said fuck yeah call me back tomorrow.

One of the probelms with all of this is it required TMobile One, which is fully unlimited data. Which was always attractive to me and I had heard about it, thought about it even. It would have definitely been 20 or 30 bucks higher than I was paying with verizon.  But instead of tiptoeing around with whatever the GB limit I had with Verizon, I could just do whatever the hell i wanted and not worry about data. That would be nice. Especially while out and about with Uber/Lyft. Especially with fucking google maps. So many reasons that would be super. So pulled the trigger on it.  I asked multiple times what that would bring my bill to. And, INCLUDING TAXES, $200.  Some cents after, but $200 with change. Not change as in dollars between 200 and 300.  But 200.01-200.99.  Fine.  And I also made god damn sure this was all reverseable. She assured me it was. If I didn’t like the tablets, I could return them. I could always cancel the lines at any time and return the tablets. All of that. Fine.  $200 a month. No hidden charges, no bullshit.

And the bullshit was what I was definitely going on and on about making god damn sure we were on the same page with fees and charges. I knew what the taxes would be, I knew all of that. Especially after the bill had taxes that I was told was included in the total I was told multiple times when I set up the service. One of the bullshit thigns when I set up the phone was also tablet related.  That offer was, you buy the tablet full price and they break up the cost of it paying you back as credits on your bill over several months.  Yeah. No. Fuck that, that’s not free. Free is free.  I’m not doing “Free after go fuck yourself pay me.”  Nope. And this sounded to be free, for sure, and I was assured it was.  That they had enough grief about the “free” shit you had to pay for up front, that they did this instead.

So, tomorrow comes and I had looked into it. There was the Galaxy Tab E. Meh. It’s ok for a free one. The other was LG G Tab X 8.0.  Much better than the Tab E. Also a year newer, so no surprise it was as much better as it was. And it was cheaper, so less taxes. Fuck yeah, I can make that happen. Plus Beth can take it on the plane with her and rock and roll. Lets go, then.

So we get that started. Kind of. I wanted to go pick them up at a store. And, seeing this coming, she sent me two free SIM cards with the lines she set up, so since I wanted to go pick them up at the store I could just slap he sim cards she sent me into them. Or, maybe she just had to send sim cards with the lines being set up. Either way, she was cool enough to actually get that done for free. That was a plus.

During all of this, the sim cards she was sending me she told me I could just put in any device that had 4g and use it as the internet only line, no phone capability, until I got the tablets.  That’s pretty cool. Lets do that. That sounds like a good patch over just in case I don’t find tablets to pick up. makes sense to me.

So I call all the stores in 10 minutes of me. None have anything. I guess it makes sense, the deal had been going on for a week and they were all cleaned out. This was Sunday I had called around.  I had talked to her first Friday when I called to ask what the fuck is up with my bill. Then Saturday is when she called me back and overnighted the sim cards.  Sorry, this is confusing.  So much happened in 30 days the exact details are sketchy.

So, might as well keep starting paragraphs with so. Friday I call and ask what the fuck is up with the bill, she sets up the lines. Saturday she calls back to see what I decided about the tabs and I said I was going to go around Sunday and find some shit. That’s when she overnighted the cards. Sunday is when I called around and found fuck all. So I waited for her to call Monday.

Now, I want to point out, she mentioned mutliple times it was no hurry about the tabs because they were going to be doing it through November and it was only mid november.  I blew it off Sunday and figured I’d just have her hook it up and get the shit shipped and I’d just wait for it when she called Monday.  She said she’d call between 8pm or so and 10, maybe 10:30, my time.  So at 11pm, I called and talked to whoever I got ahold of.

Back up to earlier Monday morning.  I actually got the sim cards monday morning. I was in no hurry to use them in anything.  In the afternoon, the baby was down for a nap and I figured I’d slap one in my beloved Droid Turbo I had for two years with Verizon.  It’s a great phone, and I figured I’d use it while I was driving for Uber/Lyft next.

Slap the shit in there, it works, to my amazement. So I got curious and slapped the second one (two free internet lines, after all, two free tabs were planned) into the wife’s old phone. Worked, too. Neat. And then I double checked the lines on my account to see what it reflected.

Well, the price on each of the free lines jumped $25 or so.  So I called in immediately and asked what that was about. He said, oh you converted the two data lines to voice lines, why?  And I told him what I did. He said, oh no, no no, you can only put those sim cards in a few tablet devices.  You can’t put them in phones. Phones with sim cards get voice lines, so the system follows suit.

I explained to him that I was explicitly told any hardware with 4g capability from phones to tablets and even laptops (do they really make laptops that take SIM cards and have 4g? i guess it’s totally possible. anyway..) – he said nope.  Can’t do it.

So, we cancelled the lines and he returned it to the free lines (so I understood.) Whatever. I popped those sim cards out and put them back in the box and waited for her to call so we could get the tablets set up.

Now, I believe I mentioned she didn’t call in the window or the 30 minutes (45 now that i think about it) i gave her after. So I called to pull the trigger and get the wait for processing and shipping started.

No, sir, they’re on back order.  What?  I was told multiple times it would be available to do for weeks.  Nope, back order. Probably not shipping until dec 1st. I thought I was getting ahead of the game and getting it done early.  Weeks ahead of me to do it, nope, doing it monday.

So, fuck it, pull the trigger.  Oh, it looks like this is actually not available now. Would you like an Alcatel Pop 7? … a what? Could you spell that for me?  so they did, and i looked it up, and I laughed. I said, no.  No way. “really? it’s a popular one.”  No. I wouldn’t even pay $15 in tax each for those for free. Nope. Thanks anyway, hang up feeling disappointed. They even said the shitty but decent enough for free Samsung E Tab or whatever the fuck the letter was, wasn’t available either. (but more expensive than the year newer LG tablet which has better stats???? the fuck?)

And my stupid ass had already figured out what I was going to do with one.  Was going to let lily play with it, and beth was looking forward to the idea of taking a non iPad to Omaha with her.  Bigger screen for netflix while she was up in Omaha. Unlimited data so she didn’t have to give a shit and able to just fuck around while she was up there. All win win.

I was pretty disappointed. But, at the end of the call I was told there would definitely be black friday and other promotions over the weekend and cyber monday. So make sure to check.  So, whatever, I checked.

I checked at the moment it launched on Thanksgiving, actually. Beth worked and baby was sleeping, so not like I was dicking around instead of spending time with family, as if I have any family besides my wife and daughter, in laws who all pretty much live in omaha but for the brother inlaw who lives down here. My sister is up in omaha but that’s all who’s alive I would ever say hi to.  Anyway, I checked at thanksgiving.  Sure enough, both the samsung tab and the lg tab showed as available again. Makes sense, save them for the holiday event. Cool.

So I try to set it up. Funny!  Can’t get them backordered without setting up new lines too.  Even though I have two lines that are empty, could not upgrade those lines to them, could not order them, could not do anything.  Called, nope. They’re closed for Thanksgiving until Friday morning. And again, this was actually 1am PST on Thursday morning or so.  So they were closed all day and I just got to suck the dick until I could call in.

Called in, they set it up. $20 per SIM card.  What? I have two sim cards. No sir, they come bundled, you have to pay for them.  …..?? so I have two sim cards that I can’t use in anything because all I have are a bunch of paid off cell phones, and a wifi iPad? So what do I do with these sim cards, put them inside my skin and pretend like I’m chipped for the future? What the fuck?

So, whatever, fuck it, lets continue and order these. We already want them, fuck it.  So, that’ll be a $46 dollar down payment on each tablet.  …… A down payment on a free tablet? Are you stoned?  Whatever. I’ll fucking pull the money out of my ass, I can cut savings and do some juggling and make THAT fucking fit, too, even after the bill came through earlier than expected.

Oh, that’s another thing. I was told the next bill wouldn’t be due until the end of november or the beginning of december since I started service with them on like November 1st. Not sure where she got that information because that big ass bill was due on Nov 22nd. And unlike everything else I work with that has a 12-25 day grace period after the due date before you get any grief for not paying it yet, they shut off your service 2 days after until you schedule a payment, and give you a late fee the day after. You know, like a fucking cheapy credit card would.

So, I paid the Verizon bill, paid a bigass deposit the size of the payment (about, pretty much what i was told my payments would be) – then 3 weeks later had to shell out another payment.  Now they want me to pay $181, of which $92 would be credited to my account in 1-2 billing cycles. …… I mean I’ve been doing really well driving a lot for lyft/uber and have some money I can absorb this bullshit with. And drove even more to offset it. Beth had been getting overtime and extra hours at her second job, so we could abosrb it.

And again, we were already attached to the ideas of getting the tablets. So fuck it. Fuck it, fuck it in the ass, lets go then. This was November 28th/29th or so. I would look at the calendar, but fuck it.

So, I throw that money in savings so it’s there when it’s time to pay it. Jesus christ, all this fucking money for a place that we went to for cheaper service.  And not as good coverage outside of town by all accounts. But with the baby we’re not going to be being risky out on back roads fucking around, either. So not so big of a worry.

The next week or two was looking at the website for backorders, and the tmobile website, waiting for the backorder date to keep shifting around and line up with what date I’m living in. Wanted to see that shit ship out before beth left for omaha.

December 6th. about 2am. Typical me, looking at the website more than I should looking forward to when the backorders get filled.

$276. My bill due December 22nd was $276. Not $200. Not $200.99. $276. Immediate fury.

I get dressed and head out to the car and drive to a parking lot because even soft talking will wake up Beth and Lily sometimes. So I called and asked what the fuck.

They were listing all these numbers, I even heard a 300 something mentioned for lines, then mentioned so and so discount, and all these numbers. Some of which, including the 300something, don’t recall hearing a single time. I understand leaving numbers out if it’s credited and offset, leaving just to mention for what I’m actually going to see. I get that.

So apparently what actually was going to happen that I was not told no matter how many times I clarified what changes were going to be on the bill – was the two lines were free. But I had to pay for them the first month or two, and then credits would start kicking in and then it would even out.

So I asked, whenever service was done, would there be the same amount of time I paid in, being credited back? Including surplus that would be paid back to me if I wasn’t with TMobile anymore?  No, that’s not how it works. Of course that’s not how it works.

I ended up talking to several people at TMobile.  The first dude was from Brittain and a fucking retard. I ended up hanging up and sitting there yelling to myself in the car.  I called back with more questions that came to mind, got a brittish chick.  She was a lot more useful than the guy was. Answered things more clearly than he did and explained what the charges were that apparently essentially are ledger things every company has that they don’t tell their clients about and don’t know why he told me as it’s nothing they’re supposed to or need to tell the customers.

She said she was going to call me and connect me with retention in an hour and a half, which would have been 4am my time.  So I went and ran some errands, filled water, put air in a tire, shit like that.  Well, not all of it, as every place with free air had broken machines. So there’s that.

4:00 came.4:30 came. 4:45came and I called anyway and said fuck waiting for this shit. Got the dumbest person I have ever talked to in any instance, ever. I would ask her a question and the answer would be fully unrelated. I mean fully. I asked her once about the tablet fee and she actually started explaining the voice line fee which is the most basic shit in the world and not at all related with what I was disputing and we had gone over that a few times.

I ended up telling this fucking moron that she was utterly useless – and I never do this shit.  I don’t. Usually I just suck it up and stew about it. But I told her she was the worst person I had ever talked to on the phone in my life. She interrupted me all the time with shit that wasn’t even relevant, she didn’t seem to be listening at all, and she’s in the retention derpartment?  I told her to transfer me to anybody. Someone near her, a manager, anybody.

“do you want the supervisor, sir?”  I don’t care, anybody, sure super visor yeah I would love to talk to your supervisor.  I then sat on hold 12 minutes and 11 seconds.  I was keeping track.

Phone call comes in, I answer it quickly. It’s the helpful, useful, intelligent british chick from earlier. I tell her the situation and say if you can get me out of this I would be beyond grateful. So she did. The other line disconnected and called back and I ignored it. They left a voicemail I never heard, will now never hear, am not remotely interested in hearing.

The person she connected me to said “this is about a disputed bill?”

well, I said no. not at all actually, no. was surprised after the history i explained to the chick and the fact i was going to shut off the “free” internet lines and cancel the backordered tablets that i had to reserve money for that had a downpayment for the free tablets….. but whatever. fuck knows what happened.

Anyway, I end up explaining the whole thing to her after a short version was asked about and it was just easier to explain everything so far.  I explained there’s no way I can afford $276 after all the shit i’ve thrown at TMobile that I had no business spending at all and my objective to switch to save money was long since shattered.  I explained that the only real reason I went to $200 a month as I was told multiple times and clarified specifically, was because it was the way to get the free lines and free tablets, neither of which I’m learning were ever really free.

In the end, I went home at 6:10am after a few other calls that were at least as confusing and conflicted with any number of previous points through the very short history with tmobile. i slept until 9:30 then started the process to go back to verizon. by 3pm both lines were back to verizon and now i get to see what the fuck happens next with whatever the fuck is going on with returning the tablets since apparently they shipped friday, though my page says backordered on tmobile. and not until midday today did it say shipped with a tracking number that last i checked at 2pm or so, was not actually even picked up by UPS yet.

I actually called and asked, since it was not picked up by UPS, could it just be stopped at the warehouse and nix it right there without needing to worry about them being lost in transit to me, or back to them, and fuck knows what nightmare will come if that happens. They said no, once the process is started the only possible way in their system to stop it is if the customer refuses it. So I’m watching it closely because I’ve worked with UPS for enough years to know I can call and reject it immediately and they’ll just turn it around mid-route.

I asked what the final bill would look like, after both ports were completed. They said the final bill is mailed, and they have no way to know what’s on it. I asked, if the phones are returned, is there any way to even generally estimate what the final bill would be. The answer was absolutely not. According to that person, I have to just sit on my hands and wait for the PAPER bill to come in mid january.

I asked what the process is if I dispute any charges, because so far the experience has shown I’m certainly going to find at least one charge I’m going to want to absolutely dispute.  I was also told to just wait until the last bill comes and pay that because as it stands nobody would say there was any way to change the $276 bill, which includes lines I’ve never actually used, because I’ve never had tablets and the phones I tried fucked shit up.

So, I’ve been drinking writing this and as it has gone on I know I have been using the backspace key a fuckload more. I apologize if none of this made sense. I hope this shit gets resolved in a way that doesn’t cost me several more hundred dollars just because what I was told by at least six different people turned out to not be what I was actually going to be charged.

At this point, FUCK YOU, T-MOBILE.



I came to comment on the dumb fucking “A vote for X is a vote for Y” guilt trip nonsense but saw my previous post nailed that better than I was even thinking. Forgot I did that, I guess.

Setting aside the sad probability based on pretty much everything I’ve seen that Jill Stein and Johnson will be taking 3rd/4th place, whichever is which, that still leaves Trump or Clinton taking 1st or 2nd place. Things I hate about each:

She sounds awesome, based on talking points she lifted from Bernie. Some Bernie fans talk about how he got things he wanted put in the plan. I’ve seen too much just since I’ve started paying attention to current and past events since/prior to 2003 to buy that. It all looks like a poorly disguised ploy to get his voters to vote for her. And many are. Words out there claim “most” went to Stein. But those people aren’t paying attention. I wish I wasn’t paying attention.

She has been a conservative her whole life, based on actions. The one I point out because it was the most damaging by far to a whole swath of the electorate she’s courting – DOMA.
She was given a Full Flop by politifact on the issue.
She claimed DOMA was a “defensive action” to stop a full ban.  You know, by making it so they couldn’t by the wording of law defining it as man+woman.
In 2004, still, and until 2013, was regularly on video saying crap like this.

Beyond that, you have watergate, emails which I used to defend her on until so many leaks came out about brazenly sharing classified shit. Benghazi though, still the various panels who shot down requests for increased security’s fault. Republican majority, imagine that.

Then you have the guy who raped a kid she got off of the charges. Everybody, I’m sure, has heard that a thousand times now. She threatens China and Russia with war, threatens North Korea with war, Iran, Syria, all with invasions. Arguably, already had a hand in war expanding vastly in Syria. Had a hand and even joked about Gadaffi getting killed by shit she was involved with. There’s so much more but it actually turns my stomach as I type this.

No but she’s super fucking progressive. Yeah, she is. Vote for her. (sarcasm.)

I recall seeing video of her giving speeches pushing it, but can never find them when I’m writing something like this.  Isn’t that how it goes? My life is full of bookmarking things for video games and audio production, writing, some other things. I wish I was better about keeping shit around I could use in blogging.  I suck. You can rightfully slap me around textually for not being good at that.  This is 10th string for me, but it is mostly therapeutic. Not a job, nor really even a hobby.  I have no excuse.


Then we have Trump. Who essentially would have been as rich as he is estimated to be today (only a couple billion, as opposed to his much higher, regular claims) – if he had just invested the money and sat in a chair doing nothing.  Not so much as the 8 billion Occupy Democrats claimed, as is very unlikely. Still, 2 billion is nice.

He claims to be self funding. He says this a lot, and so many times he says it… at a podium… that has a number to text TRUMP to, to donate. And his fucking fans love saying it repeatedly. Self funding. While actively displaying a way for people to donate. Yeah.

He claims he is anti-establishment. Which establishment? They claim he’s anti-Republican establishment. Oh yeah? No. Not when you’re surrounded by establishment Republicans. So that’s clearly bullshit. You can’t say you’re vegan, sitting at a table full of various meats and eating them while you’re claiming it. Words don’t mean shit when they’re buried in actions to the contrary (Looking at you, too, Clinton.) Pence? If he was anti-establishment, wouldn’t he have picked someone who wasn’t the poster boy for establishment republicanism? Moving on.

He gives no details in speeches. Even when he “does” he doesn’t actually say anything. He just says these huge statements and doesn’t even hint at how, other than he’ll have the best people on it, blah blah.

When you analyze what’s actually on his website, it falls apart quickly. His tax plan, while fuck yeah lets drop all our taxes like crazy, and vastly increase what we can claim for deductions so we pretty much don’t pay taxes anyway. It’s nonsense. at a time when the debt is skyrocketing, it would take trillions out of the government coffers.  If you think that’s a good thing, well, grats on being criminally ignorant on what is needed to take care of the debt many trump fans love screaming about Obama’s administration multiplying.

And fuck his mouth, who’s surprised he said that shit about women with all the things he’s said publicly on national television over the years? No shit? He grabs crotches of random women? Really? So surprised. Of course he does. He’s a big mouthed dumb shit. This comes with the territory of people who don’t know what they’re talking about nor care to, but refuse to stop talking. They do what they want, they don’t give a fuck about consequences.

Some will say, who cares, he’ll be entertaining. Sure. Like a dumb ass movie. Only he’ll be the top human in the government. Some say, Pence will run stuff. You know, like Cheney clearly was doing if anybody watched the president and vice president debates in 2004. Bush repeated a bunch of talking points and no details, and Cheney was rambling off details on topics off the top of his head naturally.

He’ll still be the top human in the government.

If Stein and Johnson weren’t running and there weren’t even third party people on the ballot, I still wouldn’t have voted for Trump or Clinton. I would have done what I did in 2000 when I wanted to vote but thought every single person on the ballot was a waste of oxygen. I wrote in George Carlin.  This time, though, I would have wrote in Lewis Black.

Either way, we’re pretty stunningly fucked.

Elections 2016

I tried watching the VP debate this morning. I made it half way through. I expected Pence to be the biggest clown of the two cancer following clowns. I was wrong. When Kaine said “now we’re even!” regarding pence being reprimanded for interrupting, I laughed. No, Kaine, for Pence to be even, he would have had to interrupted you however many dozen times you interrupted him. Head from Ass remover, aisle Debates.

If I had to call a winner and a loser in that debate, I would start with loser. The loser is clearly America. We lose. Winner? Pence, probably. He held his composure better, and told his lies with the straightest face. But they’re both cancer, standing behind bigger cancer.

I only made it half way through the Presidential Debates, too. Who was the winner in that one? The guy moderating. He won that. He seemed the most composed, he did the best job. The other two were fucktards and lied with gusto. They made me cringe multiple times each.

Now, for those of you wondering why I hate both candidates when those are our choices? No, those are not our only choices. And if you’re thinking a vote for _____ is every bit as good as a vote for _____” know thatif I could I would reach through the screen and pop you right in the mouth.

A vote for Trump is a vote for Trump.
A vote for Hillary is a vote for Hillary.
A vote for Stein is a vote for Stein.
A vote for Johnson is a vote for Johnson.

The electoral college does not alter your votes. Your votes are still applied to who you voted for. If you write in, in a state that doesn’t allow it, it will not get counted. That’s the end of that. It doesn’t magically get moved into whatever arbitrary column based on the last person you heard tell you a vote for the cookie monster is a vote for Trump. or a vote for the flying spaghetti monster is a vote for clinton. that’s not how it works. You vote for somebody and that vote goes to them, or it doesn’t stick because of whatever laws for your area.

The electoral college casts their own votes based on whatever the fuck they want. They’re supposed to go off of their constituents at the time of their casting, to the best of their knowledge. But through various digging, there are plenty of cases where they do what they want. Sure, not in huge margins, but definitely in election altering margins.

So, vote for who you want. Vote for who you like. Vote for who you think is the best. Even if it’s vermin supreme. Can’t vote for Deez Nuts, he’s not old enough.

Here’s an example of conscience. I voted for Obama. Twice. I’ll admit it. And I stand by it. He was less destructive (though absolutely destructive.) I knew he was a left leaning republican. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. He supported NAFTA. That was a republican baby. This government is run by corporations, and he’s always been in their pocket. The way corporate entities act has historically been the conservative side of things allowing it. Thus my using the republican tag as currently the most conservative bunch rest over on the republican side of things.

Now, every time Obama did something fucking stupid, I felt guilty about it. Why? I threw a vote in his column. I’m partially responsible. Without votes, he doesn’t win. Period. When he did the republican shit right after getting in office (doubling nuclear spending, signing through the second big bailout) – that was on me and everyone else who voted for him.

I’ll tell you who it wasn’t on. It wasn’t on anyone who voted for ron paul. It wasn’t on anyone who voted for McCain or Romney. It wasn’t on anyone who still wrote in Clinton or anybody else. It was on me and everyone who actually voted for him.

Now, some people out there might be saying BUT THERE IS FRAUD. Sure. This is accurate. There will always be fraud as long as humans are involved with it. That’s not going to change. As long as we don’t have a way to check that our votes were applied properly, during and after the fact (which is absolutely, easily possible) – that’s always going to be the case. But even with that, the system is not designed for votes to be moved around. The system is, you vote for who you want. The person with the most votes (in presidential case, electoral) wins. Period.

So next time you blurt out “a vote for Johnson is as good as a vote for Clinton,” or “A vote for Stein is as good as a vote for Trump,” know that hundreds of thousands of us are having mental ticks, and wishing we could upper cut you for repeating nonsense that hurts more than it helps. It hurts us, it hurts you, it helps nothing. Fuck you right in the mouth for repeatedly saying it – and not once have I seen it where I went down their visible feed, have I not seen it said by them multiple other times.

Now, for the vote check system I eluded to earlier, here’s how it is absolutely, easily possible.

1) all votes end up in an electronic system with a web view (PC or Cell, either way.)
2) as always, you have your account set up before hand or have the ability to do so (with your SS# as your key, as well as some other bullet points possible to be able to verify your identity.)
3) you log in from any internet connection on election day (which needs to be a holiday. quit fucking around.) – and you vote.
4) you receive a random code. if you are voting in person somewhere and someone else is inputting it for you, you receive a printout with this code. also, if you mail in a ballot, you are mailed back a code (or emailed if you have that set up, or called, whatever you choose.)
5) as the election happens and votes come in, the web interface is updated with the votes cast (along with totals.)
6) a 100% complete accounting of all votes is view-able by everybody, everywhere. still a secret ballot, because nobody will have their names listed, only their codes they were given after voting. this way, we can all look and verify our votes were applied to who we intended to vote for.
7) once your vote is on the final list, everybody has the option (and i would argue, the responsibility) to confirm that was their vote, thus placing a green checkmark in the column next to it.

not. hard.