Stress About Moneys

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This is the first time since we moved out with no other financial players that we’re short a couple hundred for all of our bills. Some stuff can be pushed off until later, but all that is going to do is put extra weight on
the future. I’ve been happy that we have been able to drop our food budget down from 120-150 for two weeks to 80 for two weeks and still cover everything. This week, to cover everything, I would need to drop gas for two weeks from 60 to 30, which I think we can do. I would also need to drop food from 120 we had last week to 50. That is keeping the excess from last pay period instead of putting it in savings.

Savings, by the way, is about as low as I ever want to see it. If we have to replace 2 tires, we’ll have to use credit. It was high enough a week ago to cover it, but dookie-happens took 90 from it.

I’ve been making more book sales than I expected, so ideally I can sell ten or so of the digital or twenty or so of the signed books and not be eating ramen noodles for two weeks. I’ve learned not to hold my breath, though.

I have my hat in the ring in several temp agencies for the hours of 4-11am. I know it’s a terrible schedule to find work for. But that’s the only availability I have for hours. So it’s what I have to work with. And even then, that’s assuming I can sneak sleep in, if I do get those exact hours, between the usual time baby hopefully goes to bed at 9pm to maybe 3am, or 2am, depending on how far the drive is and how much I have to do to get ready.

I had been doing Uber during some of those hours, and some hours while Beth had days off. The problem there is, the hours in the morning I rarely made more than 40 bucks over 4 hours. Take gas out, you’re down to 25 bucks. That’s not taxed, either. So as you can imagine, I really never want to drive uber. All it’s going to do is nail us harder and harder in next year’s tax return. I’m not remotely interested in that.

I really need to suck it up and try to find a stocking job during those hours. I suspect that is a shift that can work with those hours. Plus I know I’m good at stocking.

Whatever. I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now.

Interested to see what information comes up on the true motivation behind what happened in Dallas. I put ten bucks on conservatives trying to mud up BLM.

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About Dump Bin

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If you go far enough back in the dump bin, it reveals itself as previously being a blog. You see, I used to always keep a public journal.  As time went on and I had more to say, I started writing actual blog posts.  Then, I split off to a more private journal that only myself and a few people had access to.

After a few years, I ended up in a year long relationship to someone. Who was engaged. They had left the logged in blog open and their fiance saw it.  She essentially always kept herself logged in and, though closed out the blog, did not get logged out.  So her fiance would read every detail of what we were doing, where we were doing it, when we were doing it, everything.  He just thought that I was some crazy coworker fantasizing about her.

Then one night I wrote about putting in a Marilyn Manson CD called Antichrist Superstar. Wrote how she woke up at 4:30am to shut it off because she couldn’t stand hearing it anymore and couldn’t sleep. I was his cd, from his cd case.  We forgot to put it back. So, he got curious, went up and checked his CD case, that spot was empty. He hadn’t listened to it in over a year and a half because she hates it.  He looked in the CD player, there it was. Then he realized that whole journal was true.

I had stupidly fallen for her, though I knew she was full of lies and I knew she was engaged to someone else (clearly, as they got a house together in the middle of us going at it all the time)… and in the fallout from that, I ended up just shuttering all the blogs I had.

So, that was a long story. After that, some years later, I started what is now the dump blog. I salvaged a lot of stuff from the old blog(s) from yesteryear.

The Dump Blog, for a long while now, has just been where I copy/pate shit like chats and screenshots, whatever it is I want to have on record in case somebody down the road hears some bullshit and says IS THAT TRUE!?!?!?!?  and I can confirm or deny with evidence. It’s an old old habit from BBS days when people would start shit with me or friends, and I originally didn’t save chat logs.  Then, I started saving chat logs.  So when people would start shit and lies would come up, I could offer up the true story.  And it carried on through current day.  Even easier to show as being unedited as facebook code tends to copy over as well.  Who the fuck has time to edit all of that shit by hand?  It’s legit in my blog.

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Regarding Advertising

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I am keenly aware that I hate advertising.  However, I am also keenly aware that I am uninterested in being broke forever.  I am trying to build something massive, and have been for some time. Part of that is, I hope that I can see some revenue come back from what I’m putting together.  Now, I will never be like those clickbait sites we see all the time where 9/10ths of the things you can click on wherever you are on the website, are advertisements, or links to pages full of essentially nothing but links to other pages like it, all of which have tons of advertisements.  It’s disgusting.  I’m trying to keep it to one advertisement on pages with one small blog post, and one at the top plus one at the bottom of pages with larger blog posts.

I understand most people have plugins or otherwise use extensions which block advertising, and I’m cool with that. I do too. So you all will only see the advertisement markers.  Plus, I know I have some readers and website visitors who have been with me for over a decade. All of you know I’ve gone the vast majority of that time previously fully free of advertisements, entirely relying on donations and sales of whatever it is I have for sale at that moment.  Many of you also know, most of that time has been frustrating for me because I’ve made far less than I aimed to.  Even bottom line sales hoping for so it at least pays for itself, almost always fall short.

So please understand my decision to start advertising in my blog.  I also started a relatively short time ago, regarding putting advertisements up on pondbrain’s main website.  I’m slowly working on a different version of pondbrain which isn’t so slapdash.  I would like for everything housed within to feel like it has a reason for existing, rather than just another discarded website on an index of a website that exists only to index things from the past.

Please contact me if you have complaints, or compliments.  Either way, I do like hearing what you think.

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Headaches and Fatigue

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Today I woke up with memories of a complex dream. I typed a little bit of it and realized if I were to type out the whole dream, I would be spending at least two hours doing so. If I typed out my dreams every night, I believe I would average about an hour of typing out dreams per day. While most of my dreams are interesting to me, I don’t think they are interesting to anyone else. That’s why the first dream I was driven to type up in a long time, was the dream I posted as the first post in this new blog setup.

I have been deeply stressed the last week.  Actually, I have felt the stress weight strongly since June 2014. But the last week especially, because our electric bill is a hundred dollars higher than expected.  And will continue to be through the summer.

I was driving for Uber for a couple months of free time. Which amounted to roughly twelve hours a week at most. Sometimes as low as six hours a week.  A couple weeks here and there, I didn’t have time to do it once. I stopped doing it though because the hours I have available to drive are slow  times, which means you actually lose money in the end. Factoring in gas alone, my 100 dollars in pay drops to 60. Factor in that taxes are not taken out, it drops to 30. Factor in ware on the car, drops to 20.  Who drives for 10 hours for 20 bucks?  I’m sure it’s a lot better for people who have electric / hybrid cars. My car gets 23 miles to the gallon. And you don’t get paid for the drive to pick them up. Which often is at least as long as the drive to their destination.

I think what amazes me most right now is the fact drivers get paid less for the Uber delivery service they are starting. The drivers are doing a lot more work. They get out to go in and pick up the delivery, carry it to their car. They then get out at the destination for the delivery, get out, carry it to the person. But they ultimately make a lot less. This is why they pretty quickly stopped requiring people to be driving for UberX first. Because they couldn’t keep drivers. They make less money. They don’t make enough as it is. So naturally, they’re not going to cut into their profit even more. It is no surprise they also slashed the required age of the car. It went from 2005 to 1996. Yeah. You’re going to need to reach further down into that bucket to find people willing to do this.  Good job, Uber.

So, here we are. I’m actually looking at places to apply to pick up a part time job. My availability is from 4am to 11am. It’s pretty awful. It essentially limits me to retail / fast food. I’ve found nothing else that can fit in that shift. Even bank tellers, at best, work to noon rarely, 1pm usually, for part time. Stockboys and early bird shifts at fast food. That’s about it.

What is frustrating about all of this is I’m going to be making 1/3 of what the wife makes an hour. So, I’ll be losing even more sleep, cutting into what tiny free time I have, to make 1/3 the wages my wife makes. Boy, I can’t wait. I should have gotten a vasectomy the moment Jami got pregnant with Ashlee.  I knew then, and never wavered, that I do not want (more) kids.

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Good Morning

I am actually writing this at 9pm. Does that matter? I don’t think it matters much.

There are probably six times a day I want to throw something into a blog. Every single time I realize I don’t have a blog anymore. I just have a dump blog that I don’t want to put anything in that isn’t essentially a copy/paste.

Tonight I decided to create a multi-functional blog. I will be able to blog like an actual blog. I will also be able to post content for my multiple textual exploits. I will have a place to post imagery for web/graphic design, audio, and everything else.